My Hair Journey As we've met here and there, thanks for complimenting and asking me questions about my hair. I decided to create this link for encouragement and information. It's my pleasure to share my growth and photos with you. We've gotta love and uphold each other as sisters! How I personally care for my hair is also listed below.
My hair journey has been just as varied and interesting as my life. A straightening comb, you know the kind you heat on the stove, was used during my teen years in Baltimore, until I went to Ophelia DeVore School of Charm in New York at age 16. It was then time for me to come up with the times if I wanted to model at the Diplomat and Waldorf-Astoria Hotels from 1964-66, participate in the various popularity and beauty contests, including Miss America Teenager at Palisades Park, NJ in 1965, Lou Borders Miss Golf Queen; I was the 1st Runner-Up for Miss Apollo Theater, where I met Comedian Flip Wilson. So, I just smile at those that question my being what someone called “prissy” - I can’t help myself, being drilled with appropriate behavior, discipline and fencing while my peers were hanging at the beach, amusement parks, and basketball games (laughing).
My reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X in 1969 changed my life relative to my beauty standards. I questioned why I had to wear a swimming cap at the beach & pool, a shower cap to bath, sleep with my head almost hanging out of the bed with those hard mesh or pink rollers, and my husband could not run his fingers through my hair at night; something was wrong with this picture when I compared myself with women of other nationalities. Questioning if God had made a mistake with giving me a kink in my hair, my conclusion was that I was beautifully made.
So, I got my hair braided and wore a big afro wig as my hair grew out. As I sat in a big afro wig, I remember my boss at a famous magazine publishing company asking, “so we’re not going to see that beautiful straight hair anymore?” Yea, I rocked that wig with my homemade suits, as the first Black secretary in the history of that company. After about six months, my beautician cut my hair to about five inches, twist it while wet, placed me under a dryer and then picked it out. This process was done for about another six months before I was ready to cut off all of the perm; leaving only about three inches of natural hair. I did what is called today the “big chop”. Back in the 60’s and 70’s we did not have such a term; we just cut it off with joy – like Nina Simone and Cicely Tyson. To my surprise, recently I found out that a TWA does not only stand for the airlines, but it also means “Teeny Weenie Afro.”
Then in 1973 after the birth of my son, I decided to cut off my big afro into what some would call a “butch or burr cut.” This was the most freeing and beautiful experience, bringing me to a level of totally accepting myself for who I am as a young woman, without the pick and combs. During this time, many of us sisters were totally natural without make-up and nail polish; many of us even went braless.
Because I was grounded with loving my natural look, the Jheri curl of the 70’s and 80’s was never even a thought. Although many that went natural in the 70’s eventually went to the Jheri curl or relaxers, many of us maintained our standards and never went back; we raised our daughters with little afro puffs and corn rows. One lesson from my then 14 year old daughter in the early 90’s was, not to judge a person’s awareness by whether they wore natural or relaxed hair. She helped me to realize that I had succumb to the same thought process of my friends in college who thought that I was not conscience of the injustices in the world because of my relaxed hair. When my baby girl looked at me with water in her eyes and said, “mama, I have my identity in tact, I know who I am; I just can’t comb and braid my own hair because it is so tight.” At that moment, I thought about women with relaxers, on the forefront of the civil rights movement; as we did lip service about folks not being Black enough because of their relaxed hair. Fannie Lou Hammer’s being beaten with her dress rising up as dogs barked at her viciously; Dr. Betty Shabazz standing by her husband, El Hajj Malik Shabazz (Malcolm X) as their house was bombed and then him being killed right before her and their children, and the work she did at Medgar Evers College and the community. Rosa Parks who started the bus boycott; Coretta Scott King, who gave up her career in music to activism; and the many other women on the battlefield for justice. With this realization, I had my daughter’s hair relaxed. NOW, that daughter who has her identity in tact, sometimes checks me when I get a little too retro in attitude.
From the 70’s to now, I’ve worn my hair in various lengths, not feeling that longer is better and more beautiful than short or short does not mean higher self-esteem; and instead of trying to convince others to go natural, I accept their choices and spend my energy on supporting those that are on the journey to becoming happy with nappy!
Additionally, I cringed recently when I heard a friend say in the presence of a child with a “TWA” that the Bible says our hair is our glory before God. How did that make this little girl with 4C hair feel, while looking at us with longer hair? Everybody can not grow long hair. Is the long 3A hair better than the short 4C hair? First of all, yes I’m lecturing now; the Bible does not say that our hair is our glory before God. It says in I Corinthians 11:15 “But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.” This chapter also states that a man should not grow long hair, despite the fact that Samson’s strength was in his long hair. My heartfelt thought, let’s accept the fact that we are all made in the image of God, therefore, we are all beautiful whether we have long or short hair. And, let’s work on honoring ourselves, our elders, and our ancestors by recognizing the Spirit of God within and spreading that light everywhere we go, understanding that “we ain’t all that” but by the Grace and Power of God!!!
Products I Learned Not to Use: 1. Any shampoo containing: sulfates, paraben, phthlates, and paraffins 2. All Pink Oils 3. Any products with petrolatum and mineral oil
Products I Use: (This is not an endorsement of these products, but just my personal choices)
1. Spray water daily; natural hair needs moisture 2. Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Moisture Retention Shampoo 3. Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner 4. Cantu Shea Butter Natural Hair Leave-In Conditioning Cream or TRESemme Silicone-Free Nourishing Moisture Conditioner 5. Trader Joe's Organic Virgin Coconut Oil 6. DIY gel: boil flax seeds until it thickens, strain through a stocking after it cools. 7. Nature’s Blessings Hair Pomade (Conditioner, Restorer, Root-Builder) Purchase online from amazon.com, local Black vendors and shops - example: Wisdom Book Center, 5116 Liberty Heights Ave, Baltimore, MD (410) 664-1946. Ingredients: Nettle, Rosemary, Sage, Peppermint, Thyme, Alfalfa, Pure Virgin Olive Oil, Pure Coconut Oil, Sage Oil, Rosemary Oil, Bergamot Oil, Chlorophyll (from nettle and spinach), Pure Mineral Jelly, Natural Fragranceand Good Intention.
The following links are very interesting. Using a sponge to get a swirl look is quite different from the afro of the 70’s; I haven’t made the whipped shea butter for hair and skin yet. Check out YouTube; there’s a lot of new information available from the young sisters. Welcome aboard this journey!!!
Nudred: http://www.nudred.com/
Starting dreads with a sponge: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umdN75mJ6PE
HOW TO: Creating Coils via a Sponge: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeKFYe5UWds
MAKING WHIPPED SHEA BUTTER FOR HAIR AND SKIN - 3/13/11 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vb_w3LR2-Bw&NR=1
How To Grow Your Edges: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJz0ceDhdOk
How to: Curly Flat Twist on 4C Hair http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=ZX4SLu0dAsU&NR=1